JA's Poetry
Some written pieces to share...
THE LUPUS WARRIOR
A Lupus diagnosis
Does not have to be
The end of the story
But just the beginning
Of a new chapter
Sure, there are a lot of
Twist and turns
Ups and downs
Of what seems to be
A never-ending story
But it doesn’t have to be
A tragedy
Mine will be a story of triumph
Lupus is the villain
GOD IS THE HERO
And I,
I AM THE VICTOR
IN THE “LUPUS WARRIOR”
©2020
​
GIRL INTERRUPTED
Shhhh
I can’t hear
My own brainwaves
Drowned out by something you saw
On the way up the street
That has nothing to do with me
Interrupted
Ok
I got my flow back
Signal from the brain
Almost to my hand for solidification
When it is obliterated
By a temper tantrum
Interjected into my atmosphere
About something reminiscent of old things
Totally irrelevant to future happenings
Creating stagnation in my here and now
What a mean thing interrupted
Again
Trying to focus
Trying to defuse the flame of frustration
And regain my inner melody
That allows feelings to form phrases
And again interrupted
As you pursue answers
That can easily be obtained
By any effort on your part
Instead it is my brain
That is tapped into for information
I’ve become a high speed modem
Connecting many minds to the world
Dictionary, thesaurus, phonebook, scheduler
Alarm clock, reminder, forecaster,
Mapquest, teleprompter, answering service, secretary
And oh yeah,
I think I’m supposed to be psychic
I have no filter
To keep the noise out of the line
That flows from my brain to my pad
So I tear up my paper
Throw my pen
As I realize
That my thoughts appear as cluttered chaos
Much like my life
As I am un prepared to face
As the girl interrupted
- JA
©2009
CREATIVE SPIRIT
A truly creative spirit
Despite haters and Nay Sayers
Doubters and “What-about-ers”
It knows no bounds’
That creative energy
Illuminating dark spaces
Like any subject matter it’s found
Burning hotter than the brightest of stars
The greatest of all inventions for sure
Whether it be the internet, pyramids
Or a hybrid car
Cause that creative ingenuity
Is responsible for them all
So magnificent it is,
This beautiful thing
It can even show the way forward
If given the proper reckoning
The gift of introspection,
Sometimes is, it’s own reward
Can’t clean up the world
Till you mop your own floor
Inward or outward
For this, I truly thank the Lord
Yes, burning hotter than the brightest of stars
Boundary-less is what creative spirits are
- JA
©2020
HIS EYES
I looked in his eyes
And I saw pain
Looking back at me
As if looking in a mirror
It was his, on top of mine
Our divine love
Had become a thorn in his side
That, from me, he desperately tries to hide
Only wanting me to see the love
But love has betrayed him
As my body betrays me
Love has left him
Without refuge
There is no where to hide
This anguish wearing no disguise
It’s naked before his eyes
But he fights to appear optimistic
Hoping for the best
As the devil plays
A melodic yet haunting tune
On his heart strings
My heart filled with sorrow for him
Left to pick up the pieces
Of a broken life if this time I…
He doesn’t want to think about it
But we should talk about this baby
It’s going to be okay he’d always say
But his eyes, they tell on him every single time
When we are surrounded by beeps and buzzards
Constantly disturbed by the reality of our surroundings
Trying to laugh when all you want to do
Is hold each other and let the water flow from exhausted retinas
Make sure he knows, that I know, his heart beats for only me
And he, make sure that I know, that he knows
Without him my life, it would be incomplete
Thanking him for the beautiful journey
The hand to hold walking down this particular road
Wanting to make sure he heard my love song loud and clearly
That he feels each and every note that I pray his heart never forgets
In this moment
Understand I love every part, every inch of this good man
The pain in his eyes drowning out the poetic phrase in my mind
But can he see into mine, as I see into his
Pear into my soul and see what time it is
Can a love this strong be undone if I close my eyes
Letting go of his hand till time after time?
And the next day, he’s forced to move on without mine?
I In this moment, I almost wish God could altogether erase me from his mind
So no scar would replace his personal version of my smile
But love stories are never free from pain
And the greatest of them seem to have the most rain
I hope he feels it was all worth it in the end
That the memories and the life we built
He would do it all over again
Even knowing what he may have to walk through
When forced to finally let go
Say his goodbyes
And push forward in life
I hope he doesn’t regret loving so hard
Being all in
Letting his restraints go
Because I certainly know
How blessed I am
To have met, to have loved, to have married this man
My forever and always
In sickness and in health
Till death do us part
I wish I could spare him
From the reality that is
And continue to be by his side
Pursuing twenty-four- seven marital bliss
However, life doesn’t always give you what you desire
So in this moment of insecurity, as to how many more moments I will receive
All I can do is make sure I know that he knows
How blessed I know I am
To have met, to have loved, to have married this man
My forever and always
In sickness and in health
Till death do us part
From start to finish
Love reflected always
In his eyes
July 2018
©2018
ON THE FRONT
Her young grown self
Is self aware
As she pulls her curly hair
Back into it’s restraints
Her mind wonders
And it begins to have to beat back
The possibilities it ran into
Will today be ok?
And if it wasn’t, would she know?
Does her knowledge even matter?
Will this responsibility, or earned income
The income she must earn
While in her place of service
The grocery store that has to stay open
So her community can continue to thrive
Prove to be worth, what could be the price?
But will it even matter?
If one cough, if one droplet
If one granddaughter
Goes home to two elderly grandparents
She can’t think about it!
As it starts to bring on pain in her temple
As tears well at the thought of her temple
Being the vehicle to invade theirs
But what’s the alternative?
Add to the chaos by leaving her post unmanned?
Quit! Yes!
But then who pays her bills?
And when it is all over
Where does she go back to work?
This is her new normal-controversy
Her “Get ready to open the grocery store” routine!
Her new everyday dilemma!
As she woman’s up to standing in the gap
Knowing the risk
To fight a war she did not sign up for
That we might still have,
The one bit of normalcy
In shopping for groceries
That we are accustomed to
And desperately in need of
So, that through it all
We don’t also have to wonder
Where we are going to get food?
She too, is on the front line
So I solute you, my She-ro
And all the others like you
Out there so we can be safe and secure at home
As this pandemic passes by our door
We pray it too, passes over you
God bless you while you hold the front line
Dedicated to my Joy and all of the people no matter what your job, some whom we’ve lost, on the new front line. Thank you
​
-JA March 28,2020
©2020
TRANSPLANT ANNIVERSARY
PRAYER
Father
I come before you
In the spirit of joy and thankfulness
On this new day you have blessed me with
Signifying the second anniversary
Of my new birthing
For manifesting a new beginning
In what I thought was my end
For blessing this vessel with purpose
To bring glory to your name
A walking testimony of your goodness
Your mercy
Your grace
And your favor
For providing a yes
Where my circumstances said no
For showing me the purpose in my pain
And ordering my footsteps everyday
As long as you bless my lungs to draw breath
You will get all of the glory out of my life
And even in death
I will leave my words
To bear witness to how my God is never late
So hear my praise Father
Because only you are worthy of the rest of my days
I love and thank you
For this and all things
On this, the second birthday of
“Kid Da Kidney”
Your devoted, loving and faithful servant JA
In Jesus Holy Precious Name
Amen
September 2, 2020- The second anniversary of my kidney transplant that we had given up on as we waited for what we thought was my inevitable end. But God said not yet and two years later I am here with a beautifully functioning kidney and so much more.
©2020
MY BABY
Revised: September 20, 2018
My baby
He makes me the best cup of tea every morning
Makes sure I am taken care of
In every way
Before he heads out for the day
My baby
He tells me I'm beautiful
Even when I feel like I am having an ugly day
My baby
Takes care of my child
Like she was his own
Which makes me love him, all the more
My baby
Holds my hand and rubs my forehead
When I'm in pain
Praying for me to be okay
My baby
He lets me have my way a lot
I try not to take advantage
But he would do anything to make me smile
Which makes me smile when he's doing nothing at all
My baby
No, he's not perfect
But he tries so hard to be right
So tonight there is no real reason to fight
My baby, he makes me laugh
He tickles my heart
Sends tingly vibes up and down my spine
My baby handles me with care
Has his PHD in TLC
Survey reflects that yes,
I am quite pleased
My baby
He holds me so tight
So much taller than little ol' me
My head resting on his chest
As I take the opportunity, to inhale his scent
My baby gives me the security I need
I never have to worry where his love is
My baby
He's never known me healthy
Chose to love and marry me through sickness
Never knowing if we'd see health
He didn't have to sign up
Not for this life
And Lord knows
I would marry him
Knowing every flaw and mistake
A thousand times over again
I said it before
And I'll say it again
I truly believe
Marvin,
You are the physical manifestation
Of God's love for me
There is no doubt,
No one can love me
Like my baby can
9/23/15
©2015