JA's Poetry

Some written pieces to share...

 

THE LUPUS WARRIOR

 

A Lupus diagnosis

Does not have to be 

The end of the story

But just the beginning 

Of a new chapter

Sure, there are a lot of 

Twist and turns

Ups and downs

Of what seems to be

A never-ending story

But it doesn’t have to be 

A tragedy

Mine will be a story of triumph

Lupus is the villain

GOD IS THE HERO

And I,

 I AM THE VICTOR

IN THE “LUPUS WARRIOR” 

©2020

 

GIRL INTERRUPTED

 

Shhhh

I can’t hear

My own brainwaves 

Drowned out by something you saw

On the way up the street

That has nothing to do with me

Interrupted

Ok

I got my flow back

Signal from the brain 

Almost to my hand for solidification

When it is obliterated

By a temper tantrum

Interjected into my atmosphere

About something reminiscent of old things

Totally irrelevant to future happenings

Creating stagnation in my here and now

What a mean thing interrupted

Again

Trying to focus

Trying to defuse the flame of frustration

And regain my inner melody

That allows feelings to form phrases

And again interrupted

As you pursue answers 

That can easily be obtained 

By any effort on your part

Instead it is my brain 

That is tapped into for information

I’ve become a high speed modem

Connecting many minds to the world

Dictionary, thesaurus, phonebook, scheduler

Alarm clock, reminder, forecaster, 

Mapquest, teleprompter, answering service, secretary

And oh yeah,

I think I’m supposed to be psychic

I have no filter

To keep the noise out of the line

That flows from my brain to my pad

So I tear up my paper

Throw my pen

As I realize 

That my thoughts appear as cluttered chaos

Much like my life

As I am un prepared to face 

As the girl interrupted

 

- JA

©2009

CREATIVE SPIRIT

 

A truly creative spirit

Despite haters and Nay Sayers

Doubters and “What-about-ers”

It knows no bounds’

That creative energy

Illuminating dark spaces

Like any subject matter it’s found

Burning hotter than the brightest of stars

The greatest of all inventions for sure

Whether it be the internet, pyramids

Or a hybrid car

Cause that creative ingenuity 

Is responsible for them all

So magnificent it is, 

This beautiful thing

It can even show the way forward

If given the proper reckoning

The gift of introspection, 

Sometimes is, it’s own reward

Can’t clean up the world

Till you mop your own floor

Inward or outward

For this, I truly thank the Lord

Yes, burning hotter than the brightest of  stars

Boundary-less is what creative spirits are

 

- JA

©2020

 

HIS EYES

 

I looked in his eyes

And I saw pain

Looking back at me

As if looking in a mirror

It was his, on top of mine

Our divine love

Had become a thorn in his side

That, from me, he desperately tries to hide

Only wanting me to see the love

But love has betrayed him

As my body betrays me

Love has left him

Without refuge

There is no where to hide

This anguish wearing no disguise

It’s naked before his eyes

But he fights to appear optimistic

Hoping for the best

As the devil plays 

A melodic yet haunting tune

On his heart strings

My heart filled with sorrow for him

Left to pick up the pieces

Of a broken life if this time I…

He doesn’t want to think about it

But we should talk about this baby

It’s going to be okay he’d always say

But his eyes, they tell on him every single time

When we are surrounded by beeps and buzzards

Constantly disturbed by the reality of our surroundings

Trying to laugh when all you want to do

Is hold each other and let the water flow from exhausted retinas

Make sure he knows, that I know, his heart beats for only me

And he, make sure that I know, that he knows

Without him my life, it would be incomplete

Thanking him for the beautiful journey

The hand to hold walking down this particular road

Wanting to make sure he heard my love song loud and clearly

That he feels each and every note that I pray his heart never forgets

In this moment

Understand I love every part, every inch of this good man

The pain in his eyes drowning out the poetic phrase in my mind

But can he see into mine, as I see into his

Pear into my soul and see what time it is

Can a love this strong be undone if I close my eyes

Letting go of his hand till time after time?

And the next day, he’s forced to move on without mine?

I In this moment, I almost wish God could altogether erase me from his mind

So no scar would replace his personal version of my smile

But love stories are never free from pain

And the greatest of them seem to have the most rain

I hope he feels it was all worth it in the end

That the memories and the life we built

He would do it all over again

Even knowing what he may have to walk through

When forced to finally let go

Say his goodbyes

And push forward in life 

I hope he doesn’t regret loving so hard

Being all in

Letting his restraints go

Because I certainly know 

How blessed I am

To have met, to have loved, to have married this man

My forever and always

In sickness and in health

Till death do us part

I wish I could spare him

From the reality that is

And continue to be by his side

Pursuing twenty-four- seven marital bliss

However, life doesn’t always give you what you desire

So in this moment of insecurity, as to how many more moments I will receive

All I can do is make sure I know that he knows

How blessed I know I am

To have met, to have loved, to have married this man

My forever and always

In sickness and in health

Till death do us part

From start to finish

Love reflected always

In his eyes

 

July 2018

©2018

 

ON THE FRONT

 

Her young grown self

Is self aware

As she pulls her curly hair

Back into it’s restraints

Her mind wonders

And it begins to have to beat back

The possibilities it ran into

Will today be ok?

And if it wasn’t, would she know?

Does her knowledge even matter?

Will this responsibility, or earned income

The income she must earn

While in her place of service

The grocery store that has to stay open

So her community can continue to thrive

Prove to be worth, what could be the price?

But will it even matter?

If one cough, if one droplet

If one granddaughter

Goes home to two elderly grandparents

She can’t think about it!

As it starts to bring on pain in her temple

As tears well at the thought of her temple

Being the vehicle to invade theirs

But what’s the alternative?

Add to the chaos by leaving her post unmanned?

Quit!  Yes!  

But then who pays her bills?

And when it is all over 

Where  does she go back to work?

This is her new normal-controversy 

Her “Get ready to open the grocery store” routine!

Her new everyday dilemma!

As she woman’s up to standing in the gap

Knowing the risk

To fight a war she did not sign up for

That we might still have, 

The one bit of  normalcy 

In shopping for groceries

That we are accustomed to 

And desperately in need of

So, that through it all 

We don’t also have to wonder 

Where we are going to get food?

She too, is on the front line

So I solute you, my She-ro 

And all the others like you

Out there so we can be safe and secure at home

As this pandemic passes by our door

We pray it too, passes over you

God bless you while you hold the front line

 

Dedicated to my Joy and all of the people no matter what your job, some whom we’ve lost, on the new front line.  Thank you

-JA March 28,2020

©2020

 

TRANSPLANT ANNIVERSARY

PRAYER

 

Father

I come before you

In the spirit of joy and thankfulness

On this new day you have blessed me with

Signifying the second anniversary

Of my new birthing

For manifesting a new beginning

In what I thought was my end

For blessing this vessel with purpose

To bring glory to your name

A walking testimony of your goodness

Your mercy

Your grace

And your favor

For providing a yes

Where my circumstances said no

For showing me the purpose in my pain

And ordering my footsteps everyday

As long as you bless my lungs to draw breath

You will get all of the glory out of my life

And even in death

I will leave my words

To bear witness to how my God is never late

So hear my praise Father

Because only you are worthy of the rest of my days

I love and thank you

For this and all things

On this, the second birthday of 

“Kid Da Kidney”

Your devoted, loving and faithful servant JA

In Jesus Holy Precious Name

Amen

 

 

September 2, 2020- The second anniversary of my kidney transplant that we had given up on as we waited for what we thought was my inevitable end.  But God said not yet and two years later I am here with a beautifully functioning kidney and so much more.

©2020

 

MY BABY

Revised: September 20, 2018

 

My baby

He makes me the best cup of tea every morning

Makes sure I am taken care of

In every way

Before he heads out for the day

My baby

He tells me I'm beautiful

Even when I feel like I am having an ugly day

My baby

Takes care of my child 

Like she was his own

Which makes me love him, all the more

My baby

Holds my hand and rubs my forehead

When I'm in pain

Praying for me to be okay

My baby

He lets me have my way a lot

I try not to take advantage

But he would do anything to make me smile

Which makes me smile when he's doing nothing at all

My baby

No, he's not perfect

But he tries so hard to be right

So tonight there is no real reason to fight

My baby, he makes me laugh

He tickles my heart

Sends tingly vibes up and down my spine

My baby handles me with care

Has his PHD in TLC

Survey reflects that yes, 

I am quite pleased

My baby 

He holds me so tight

So much taller than little ol' me

My head resting on his chest

As I take the opportunity, to inhale his scent

My baby gives me the security I need

I never have to worry where his love is

My baby

He's never known me healthy

Chose to love and marry me through sickness

Never knowing if we'd see health

He didn't have to sign up

Not for this life

And Lord knows

I would marry him 

Knowing every flaw and mistake

A thousand times over again

I said it before

And I'll say it again

I truly believe

Marvin,

You are the physical manifestation 

Of God's love for me

There is no doubt,

No one can love me 

Like my baby can

 

9/23/15

©2015